O Lal Meri Pat Rakhiyo; Dama Dam Mast Qalandar

I just love this song. And if you like music, it is impossible that you at some point have not been driven into a trance by this mesmerizing piece of sufi music which is but one of the countless gems of the rich cultural heritage of the Indian sub-continent. Countless singers & artists from Pakistan & India have given their voice to this sufiana magic, originally written in praise of Hazrat Lal Shabaz Qalander. From Nusrat saab to Allah Jilai Bai, from Runa Laila to Abida Parveen, in a bit modern version from Junoon to Hans Raj Hans, various masters of their gifts through the generations have explored new depths with this song. Each version equally melodious and each one adding his own soul to this cry from heart to ‘Hazrat’.

Love as we know may be a mix of unparallel emotions, feelings or faith of varying strength towards a person, a cause, a belief, a relation or a thought. Love as we experience may be defined around or be free from the grasps of expectations and in its own way lets you put your beloved before you, your wants, needs and desires. Making no claim of what I am saying is right I would say Sufism takes this definition of Love beyond defined or know boundaries. Sufi music for that matter leaves no differentiation between the lover and the beloved, the beloved here being the God or that one elusive truth you seek. You seek him while knowing he is in you and that takes your love above desires, wants, expectations of love in return or even beyond being affected by his wrath. That’s the beauty of Sufi music, it makes you be so much at peace with yourself that you seem to even love the hardships coming your way as you become one with that one you seek.

Music has not language they say and rightly so. But knowing the meanings of the words beaded together in this song to weave its magic, takes this song which while sung originally in praise of Hazrat, to a new level.

“O laal meri pat rakhio bala jhoole laalan, Sindri da Sehvan da, sakhi Shabaaz kalandar, Dama dam mast kalandar, Ali dam dam de andar”

Loosely traslated as; “O the red robed, May I always have your benign protection, Jhulelal, O the lord, the friend and the Sire of Sindh and Sehwan (or Serwan ),The red robed God-intoxicated Qalandar, you who have mastered life, glory unto to you.”

Born Syed Hussein Shah, this sufi saint was and is known to his followers as Hazrat Lal Shabaz Qalander, a name where each word has a meaning and or legend attached to it. Hazrat  is an Arabic a title used ahead of names as a mark of respect, pretty much akin ‘His Holiness’ or ‘Your honour’ used in English language. “Lal” is used to refer to him as he was fond of wearing red attire. Also fondly parents in this part of the world call their child lal, here Hazat is probably referred to as Lal or son of god. “Shah” means king & “Baaz” means falcon; the title Shahbaaz apparently also goes with another legend associated with him that he once turned into a falcon and saved his friend from the gallows. Qalander a word of Persian origin is a title given to wandering sufi dervishes, he is also referred to as Qalandar as he was from the Qalandria order of Sufism. Hazrat Lal Sahbaaz Qalandar is also referred to by his followers as “Jhule Laal”. He hailed from Marwand in Afghanistan and finally settled in Sehwan in Sindh, Pakistan, the places which are invoked in this song. “Pat(t)” while used in different connotations at different places, here loosely refers to ‘honor’.

Dam;'breath in' & Adam;'breath out' colloquially sung as Dama-Dum, refers to a person who has mastered the control of his breath thus taking control over self and knowing the secrets to remains happy forever. Ali called here is to incite Ali though Hazrat.

“Chaar charaag tere baran hamesha, Panjwa mein baaran aayi bala jhoole laalan … O panjwa mein baaran aayi bala jhoole laalan, Sindri da Sehvan da, sakhi Shabaaz Qalandar,”

Loosely translated as; “Your shrine is always lighted with four lamps, And here I come to light a fifth lamp in your honor.”

“Hindh sindh peera teri naubat vaaje,, Naal vaje ghadiyaal bala jhoole laalan … O Naal vaje ghadiyaal bala jhoole laalan, Sindri da Sehvan da, sakhi Shabaaz Qalandar,”

Loosely translated as; “Your heroic name ring out across (Naubat khanas) in Hind & Sindh (or lets the gongs bell loud ), Let the gong ring loud for your glory day and night by the people.”

The word ‘Naubat' originated from the Persian word 'Naubat' which means a traditional ensemble of nine musical instruments. Among other the main instruments comprising the Naubat as we know them now are Shehnai, Tabla, Drum, Nafiri (long clarinet), Flute and a Gong. In fact Naubat Khana or Naqqar khanas are a distinct feature of Mughal Architechture. Found in royal palaces these were the drum houses or orchestra pits during ceremonies. In India Ustad Bismillah Khan’s family has played shehnai for generations in the Naubatkhana at Red Fort, Delhi, which overlooked palaces and temples, and enabled their music to be heard across the countryside.

Some also sing this as Ghanan ghanan teri Naubat vaaje.

“Har dam peera teri khair hove, Naam-e-ali beda paar laga jhoole laalan … O Naam-e-ali beda paar laga jhoole laalan, Sindri da Sehvan da, sakhi Shabaaz Qalandar,”

Loosely translated as; “O Lord, may you prevail every time, everywhere, I pray of your well being, In the name of Ali, I pray to you to help my boat cross the river of life in safety”

Search ‘Lal Meri pat Rakhiyo’ on You Tube and a score of versions would pop up. Here’s one of my personal favorite by none other than the master himself – Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan.

Also sitting in the group (if you noticed), a young boy then, is another legend on the making Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. If you hear some of the original records (Akhiyan Udeek Diyan for example) from Nusrat saab you can recognize a unmistakable alaap by Rahat. In most qawwalis its just a alaap, but you sure cant miss to recognize the distinct voice and the commendable attempt trying to measure up to the God of voice.  Interesting if you like this kind of music …

How do I look ??

No no, relax,, I am not seeking your honest opinion on my personality. I do know that, that wont be the best of starts for a new year for any one of us. This my friends is more about this perennial question itself. A question that you may have come across many a times in different shapes & forms. On the onset it looks like a simple query, harmless, innocent to the extent of being a drag. But don’t be fooled by its cunning disguise, this question my fellow brethren from mars is the single most cunningly disguised plan against all the male species on earth.

The plot is deep, the plot old and the plan is bloody fail proof. See the one rule that Jesus, Allah, Ram, Nanak or the one God in the form & shape that you know him gave to mankind was that if you lie even once in life for your own good you would have no place in paradise in the afterlife. Men heard it and just nodded their heads, ‘That’s ok dude what else’ they said, the women however gave it a thought, rolled their eyes, took their time and came up with the impregnable question for their men - - - -  How do I look?

It a bloody ruthless trap. And if you are a man then you would know better that it is tirelessly thrown at you again and again until you fall for it. No one in the history of mankind can claim not to have never been a victim of this perfect crime irrespective of what you may have replied. And its not just the answer that will tear off your ticket to heaven. Its the way you say it, the speed with with you respond, body language, positioning of eyes, shaking of our earlobes and whatnot …. Do what you may, reason to doom you would somehow appear. Sometimes for example it may be your act. For example am pretty sure that to start with it was Eve who ate the forbidden apple first and then when she knew she was dammed she tossed another apple to Adam, came out from behind the bush and spoke in a low husky voice - - - How do I look? …… Apple did not get the man, the question did, and rest as they say is a story.

Anyways, while each man is responsible and mostly solo witness to his own doomed fate on answering this ill fated query, there is one place where the response becomes public, and the humiliation is to be shared with an audience ….. Outside the fitting rooms in shopping malls !!!

If an angel dies ever time a person lies, then the sale period around holidays is a bloody plague season for them,, waiting area outside the fitting rooms their graveyard and poor unsuspecting husbands & boyfriends their death daemons. Nowhere else in the world can you see an army of otherwise righteous, god-fearing and pious looking gentlemen lying through his teeth in series one after the other …. If you are telling me you have spoken nothing but the truth standing at that place, you’ve just killed another angel.

The sad part of it is that you cant help it … Lets me take you to a sample store with a nice sale offer on a warm sunny day …

Men accompanied with their chosen ones come in the shops with their happiness in their eyes, spring in their feet, songs on their lips, money in their wallets and moods high in anticipation of something they would be able to get for themselves. Little do these unsuspecting poor sacrificial lambs know that all of these would be snatched away from them by the ill fated finger of not fate but the damsels whom they themselves selected. (PS: Thats the bitch of it!)

Anyways their high spirits are soon dampened with their better turned bitter halves parading them through the female section of the shop floor tirelessly hunting for gold in the long line of clothes that the store has put on display for the single reason of they having not been able to sell that crap through the season. Oxymoron as it may sound, almost always most of these damsels are able find their perfect dream dresses in that heap of otherwise season long discards.

 

And after hours of this mad frenzy of rushing from one aisle to another, mentally mapping the aisles to be attacked in priority, almost snatching of clothes from other shoppers, comes the dreaded walk to the one area in the shop that is every man’s worst nightmares – The Fitting Rooms !! <add doomsday music>. By now the shopping spirits of majority of the men is already broken and they are reduced to mere slaves of the finger motion and eyes contact of their women. The unending wait outside the fitting rooms would do the trick, for the last few remaining ones who still see light at the end of men’s section tunnel.

As a new couple approaches the waiting area of the fitting room, quick glances are exchanged. The waiting men do a quick scan of the new cat and her kill. They act as one big clan in analyzing the couple and the common feeling towards the approaching man varies from sympathy to hatred depending on how many garments for trial his lady is carrying. The one with his woman carrying most trial garments gains the highest position in the clan with special privileges like right to sit in the few available seating spots in the waiting area and ignorance by other members of the clan at large to his leeching looks at others wives. He can be spared a murder, for the sheer torture he is in for. Such an empathy from this group towards a man walking in with his wife carrying say more than 20 garments matches in intensity only to the common grief & sympathy towards a husband hosting condolence on the untimely demise of his newly wed wife.

Quietly the newcomer joins the clan at his level of hierarchy and waits patiently for the missus to come out and look at him with just one question in her eyes. No words are generally spoken at this point but the letters in her eyes convey a loud and clear – HOW DO I LOOK? And this cycle goes on. This is but the price you have to pay to be in a relationship. Painful as it may sound it also brings some happiness to men. Puzzled? Well marriages or relationships may directly bring any evident happiness for a man but only when one is in it, does he realize how petty all his earlier issues & pains were. Only then can he truly experience glimpses of happiness, even if that is in his nostalgia of his such untroubled past.

Waiting in that dreaded area, looking at others as these thoughts cross your mind, almost always there suddenly appears this intriguingly dressed lady of waist size 48 and bust size 52, who has somehow managed to get herself into a 32’’ waist dress. As she comes out all eyes scan the waiting area, other men looking around more eagerly than her, trying to find the poor husband who would be in direct line of damage of this hurricane. Not coz they empathize with him, but so that the pain & suffering in his eyes can act as a soothing balm on their own. Weird, GOD gives you pain and miseries but if you are a true believer he also gives you means to ease your pain by bringing in your sight others whose pains out measures yours … Who are we to question his ways.

Anyways this massacre of male emotions goes on every single day in every single store. Only faces change.

Men come and men go,,, and then there are those men who stay behind at these waiting areas of the fitting room, long after their wives have gone to billing counter,, wait showing on their faces, their eyes pasted at the fitting room door, eagerly waiting for the appearance of the blonde who went in to try the minis ………

The enigmatic relation between Sunday & a man’s haircut

Have you ever wondered why more often than not you go for an haircut on a Sunday? One fine day, while getting ready for work out of nowhere you take notice that your hairs need mending. What do you do? You automatically almost in a predefined mechanized chain of reactions triggered by that realization take a mental note and more often than not set aside 1 hour with your barber the coming Sunday. Right? Well if you do that, you must know you are not alone. Coincidence ??

No not exactly my friend. See as an Indian man’s mind has been trained to associate a haircut with a Sunday. Its a natural reflex action almost like doing ‘ummm’ when the waiter brings the hot sizzling sizzler to your table or clicking a mental picture whenever any hot lady passes by. You can’t help it. Believe it of not but your mind has been programmed for life and remains totally unaffected by the otherwise assumed mental growth with age. And like a trained chimp you follow that routine through your life. Not just that you also almost unknowingly imbibe that mechanized habit in your next generation. 

Let’s figure out why.

Well let’s for while go back in time to when you were 10-12yrs old. Remember those lazy Sunday afternoons when your dad post being hounded by your mother for the entire morning (like that documentary lion who after being constantly bugged by that odd little fly in his ear is forced to wake up and find a new place to sleep) would hold your hand and walk you to the neighborhood barber shop to execute mom’s concise yet clear instructions, to try & get you back to look like ‘insaan’ (loosely translated as ‘Human’)

Albeit the last comment may well have been just my case. You see yours truly has always a man of his own style. I am a firm believer of ‘Bigger the better’ (no pun intended) and even as a kid, liked growing my hair long, with long locks falling down, covering my ears on the sides and curled at the bottom la’ Rajesh Khanna .. A style my mom never appreciated.

But then lets save more on the style statement of this child prodigy for a different post.

So you see Sunday afternoon barber shop visit is one memory that is etched firmly in every Indian man’s mind :) And its not just about a haircut, its a story of an eternal tussle of - every child’s desire to hold on to his personally grown hair, every mother’s implicit selfish intent to make her husband get out of the house so she can get some peace in her Sunday life and every fathers fantasy to lie lifeless through the Sunday only moving in intervals of 3 hrs to devour hot ‘Bhajia’ & ‘Chai’ that should keep coming his way. This unfolding of events remains consistent irrespective the class of part of country you belong to, with only minor details like ‘Bhajia’ & ‘Chai’ replaced by ‘Masala Idli’ & ‘Filter Coffee’ if you are in south or by … umm i guess you got the point.

So what I was saying was that anywhere in India that you may be in, one fine Sunday as a child you are escorted by your dad (in most instances he being escorted by your mom till she starts trusting your 40yr old dad’s skills to get his 10yr old son a decent hair cut !) to the barber shop. There you sit there on that side bench generally gazing in the direction of the barber ‘Kamlesh' who is engrossed outpouring his acquired creative genius over the years on a unsuspecting specimen sitting in a chair almost in a vegetative state, totally unaware that the man he is trusting his style quotient has his one eye permanently fixated on Madhuri Dixit’s hot ‘Ek, Do, Teen … ‘ number playing on the black&white 14’’ TV screen hung on top left corner.

You on the other hand sit there totally aware of your presence, the surrounding and of the impending doom. Hoping against hope that ‘Kamlesh’ would make a false move & cut the man’s ear - there would be blood & commotion all around - your dad would panic & protect his son by not entrusting the fate of his son’s hairs to a man multitasking with cutting hair, sipping tea, watching Madhuri’s pelvic dance moves and scratching his crouch, all at the same time. End intended result, you would be saved a haircut and get to keep your long la’ Rajesh Khanna hair.

But then a cold mist of water coming from the direction of ‘Kamlesh’ spraying water on his specimen’s head (with a devise that you tweak during Holi to fill water baloons), breaks your chain of thoughts and you see Kamlesh grinning at you through his broken front Pan stained tooth and to see your dad peacefully sitting outside in mild winter sun, engrossed in Sunday Times reading Rajiv Gandhi’s vision to take India to the IT age and at the back of his mind too eager to go back to waiting Rajma Chawal at home and a afternoon nap in the sun on your terrace.

As a child, anything in between that happens that Sunday afternoon makes no difference to your fate, coz the inevitable does happen and irrespective of how your went in or any combination of detailed instruction you or your dad gives to ‘Kamlesh’, you end up coming out of the saloon looking like Jim Carrey in Dumb & Dumber, which was the trade mark hair cut of kids of my age. (Am really surprised to this day as to how moms even identified which one’s their when they came to collect us after school. Sigh!!)

Moral of the story, an average Indian male mind is tuned to go to Sunday the moment it hears Haircut, but then if you are associating all sorts if haircut to Sunday you might be messed up for whole different reasons and it is in larger social interest that we assume the story above has nothing whatsoever to do with that.

BCCI to appoint an injury excuse coach!

New Delhi: Following news of rifts within in the Indian test squad over allocation of injury excuses to opt out of the depressing series, BCCI has finally decided to hire a coach to train the star players on how to come up with innovative excuses to pull out of any ill-fated series with possibly humiliating result in store or for when they are trying to save their mojo only for the money minting IPL.

According to sources with direct access to dressing room, the trouble started when the two Delhi batsmen raced with their announcements to beat the rest of the team in citing Concussion & Shoulder Injury to opt of the the remainder of the ongoing England Vs Dravid series.

Manmohan Singh joins team Anna in the ongoing protest against the Prime Minister!

New Delhi: In quite a dramatic turn of events Prime Minister Manmohan Singh left one & all guessing, when he switched sides and joined team Anna in the ongoing protest against the government and the Prime Minister.

In a masterstroke he changed the game on its head when he went on to blast the government & the prime minister over the decision to detain Anna and his supporters. Saying that the arrests were nothing but a reflection of the mental bankruptcy of the Congress, the government & prime minister himself and were a blatant attack on the democratic fabric of the society, he went on to add that the prime minister has some serious questions to answer,, paying no heed to the minor detail that he himself was him.

Speaking to the press he said his decision was influenced by, his own voice of reason, strong public support on Anna’s side and rumors that Katrina may be making an appearance this week to support the protest against Lokpal bill.

BCCI to field Shashank Manohar as the second opening batsman in the 4th & final test at Oval

London: In a historic move the national cricket selection committee announced to field BCCI president Shashank Manohar as the new opening batsmen to come out with Gautam Gambhir in the fourth & final test at the Oval in the ongoing India tour of England. Mr.Manohar would be replacing Virender Sehwag.

Breaking the news in a specially called in press conference, the beaming national selection committee chairman, Krish Srikant said it was a well thought out counter strategy to preempt the excessive homework that English bowlers have done & the plan their think-tank has come up with to expose the weak point of our great batting line up and nip it in the bud.

If this does not motivate the sales force, I don’t know what will ..

Today I thought of returning back to writing and while I was yet undecided on whether I want to write about work, life, my experiences in a new city or a making news post, I came across this VERY REAL news in one of London’s most circulated free daily business papers.  Well there are ways & techniques of motivating your men and their are ways of motivating your men, but if Hitler could have come up with such well planned incentive scheme, world would be a different place.

Wankhede stadium refuses to host any games not involving Marathi Manoos

Mumbai: In a dramatic turn of events, just when cricket fans across the globe were beginning to rest their fears of Wankhede stadium not being ready in time for the world cup, post reassuring presence of Union Agriculture Minister and International Cricket Council president Sharad Pawar at the stadium, Wankhede stadium refused to make itself ready to host any match involving Non-Marathi Manoos on its soil. Citing Vinod Kambli’s and Romesh Pawar’s omission from the national world cup squad as one of the many prominent reasons for its stands, the stadium politely but sternly voiced its non-cooperation to hold any match that has less than 16 of the playing 22 as non-marathi outsiders. ‘Thats just a 75% reservation we are talking about leaving enough space for others and BCCI & ICC should consider it if they want to hold any world cup matches on my chest’ stadium said addressing the media. With BCCI president Shashank Manohar’s reasonably valid argument; ‘How the @#$% is than even possible in a Canada Vs New Zealand and New Zealand Vs Sri Lanka Match?’ falling on deaf ears, the fate the two mentioned world cup league matches scheduled at Wankhede is uncertain.

When contracted, sources known to be close to Wankhede confirmed that though there are many reasons for this extreme step but most recently a North Indian rookie Virender Sehwag running out marathi mulga Sachin Bhau and then himself going on make 175 runs in the world cup openor just tipped the boat. Stadium itself went on record to say ‘Disat Naahi Kaa, the fact that the 175 run record was earlier also held by a North Indian Kapil Dev with questionable English skills, only add to my argument of the suppression of Marathi manoos for years.’

Virender Sehwag’s mother when contacted expressed her sadness on this entire episode in the world cup opener and requested cricket fans across the country not to read too much into the run out. On record she said; “Arre wo to chote se aisa hi hai, moodi,, jab man nahi hoga to viruuu viruuuu bulate raho peeche se, wo sunega hi nahi.*smiles* Ho gayi hogi koi baat Sachin aur us ke beech mein match se pehle, bas nahi bhaga wo.*laughs* Shararati kahin ka.” 

The acute stand from the stadium however has triggered sharp reactions from all wakes of life.

BJP spokesperson releasing a official press statement said; ‘We demand a Joint Parliamentary Probe (JPC) into why Wankhede was alloted the games at the first place without a proper debate in the parliament. According to rough calculations by our honorable senior party member and leader of opposition in Rajya Sabha Mr.Arun Jaitly it has caused a loss of Rs.200,000 cr. to the national exchequer”. When contacted Arun Jaitly just said a concise ‘PM is weak’ and ‘We are doing great work in Gujarat’

Uma Bharti & Sushma Swaraj when told of the sad stand of the stadium, took an oath to cut all their hairs if their brethrens from Canada, New Zealand and Srilanka were not allowed to play at Wankhede for the league matches. Repeated queries from our end failed to get more clarity on - hairs on what part of the body were they was talking about, if they would cut each other hairs in public and how the @#$% are Canadians, Kiwis and Lankans their brethren.

Manoj Bajpayee when contacted just said; “Karara Jawaab Milega!”. Why he was contacted at the first place is being investigated.

Amar Singh labeled the incident as a sad mark in the history of the game in India. Through our reporter he issued a open request to the stadium; ‘Dear Wankhede, if you have anything against the north Indians why don’t you act in mature & reasonable way and just beat up some bihari Taxi drivers & get it over with? What is the point in holding an entire nation to ransom?’ Various Sena’s in Mumbai have welcomed this solution from Amar Sigh and offered their services to Wankhede Stadium for this cause.

Lalit Modi has offered to move the matches to South Africa. He also offered his expertise to arrange the same in a day.

Prime Minister’s office has maintained a dogged silence on the issue, but when repeatedly probed by journalists the PM did say this; “I swear, I had no clue on what A.Raja was doing.”

Final comments from Stadium were awaited when we went to press.

In a totally unrelated incident, Kasab’s death sentence was upheld by the court. Kasab however said he would be contesting the judgment in a higher court. He confirmed the reports that he has enrolled in Indira Gandhi Open University for ‘patrachaar’ course in BA LLB and is confident of getting a law degree and fighting his own case in supreme court before there is any consensus in India to hang him. On his confinement to Anda cell he said health, hygiene, food and other conditions there are much better than that at his home in the Faridkot village in Okara District of Punjab, Pakistan and he is looking forward to meet a ‘Raja’ when his case goes to Delhi.

Photo Source: Its Pawar standing there, trying to do a SRK. Do u really care | News Source: Would have told but you already know where this came from. Right!